Anyone else have a reality TV show they like to watch from time to time? Mine is Married At First Sight. And I just watched episode four from season five. It looks like this season is going pretty well so far. Though, there was a little hiccup. Let’s take a look at the conflict that happened between Nate and Sheila.

TRUST

These newly weds are on their honeymoon and are about to go and have some fun on a jet ski. Nate likes to go to the extreme. Sheila is hoping to ease her way into it. Now, we only get to see the clips that the episode shows, therefore that is what I base my opinion on.

Sheila hops on the back of the jet ski. Nate is driving it. And he goes full throttle right away. This scares Sheila. They end up dumping the jet ski and in the water. In the end… no one had the awesome time they were hoping for.

The rest of the episode, they continue to talk about how their energy is different. Um, no, it’s not about the energy per say. It is about the underlying trust that was damaged from this activity.

I am guessing Nate is hoping that his new wife is going to TRUST him and his jet ski driving skills. While Sheila is hoping that she CAN TRUST her new husband to go at her a slower speed until she feels comfortable.

What did they miss?

Okay, so Sheila did trust Nate and that is why she got on the jet ski to begin with. However, when he didn’t give her a chance to get more comfortable on the jet ski…. and he went full throttle… the trust was broken. And now that will possibly influence any activity they attempt to do as a couple in the future. She may not trust he will have her back and take her feelings into consideration.

They keep talking about how she is more mellow and he is high energy. But really, had Nate just taken the time to let Sheila enjoy the jet ski at a slower speed, the results would have been much different.

Their relationship would have been strengthened. Instead, it now has a relationship injury.

Is there a solution?

If you want to do something as a couple, make sure you both feel comfortable. Go at the pace of the one who is feeling more cautious and with time, they may start to want to increase their speed. Be supportive instead of pressuring them to hurry it up. This way you can both have fun together.

If one wants to go slow and the other wants to go fast and you just can’t imagine taking a slower pace, take different jet ski’s. And see it as a solo yet still kinda hanging out activity. Then respect the difference in speed preference and have fun. Maybe reconnect every once in a while so it still feels like you are spending time together.

REPAIR

Conflict happens in every relationship. At least it does if the couples are being real with each other. This isn’t a negative. It’s all about what the couple does with the conflict that will influence the health of their relationship.

A really awesome thing this couple did after their conflict was repair their relationship. Though, Nate and Sheila both felt frustrated about the situation, they were able to have a nice dinner and Sheila accepted Nate’s repair attempts. This is a huge strength and will go a long way if they continue to be open to receiving repair attempts.

 

 

In what area can you apply this idea to your relationship? What is your take on Sheila and Nate?