I have been a fan of love my entire life. Always rooting for the love story and the happy ending. However, I had forgotten to really cheer my own on. I had my fair share of crappy boyfriends and incredible boyfriends. There was even a time in my life where I never thought I would get married, regardless of how wonderful a guy was. It wasn’t worth the risk of getting hurt. So I was going to skip that part altogether.

And then I moved to Connecticut and I began to grow into the person I was keeping pushed down inside. Yet, fear still lead most of my decisions, especially when it came to love.

THE FRIEND THAT ACTUALLY HAS GOOD ADVICE 

I was working at Gold’s Gym and one of my coworkers, I will call him Mr. Avocado, really had an impact on me. He actually gave helpful and sane relationship advice. He told me, that if a guy really cares about you, you will be able to see it in the way he responds to what you share with him. This included the things that hurt me and brought me joy.

I believed Mr. Avocado. And I saw it come to life in my relationships.

THE SPECIAL GUY I WASN’T READY FOR

That summer, I meet this incredible guy. There was chemistry, but fear still lead my heart. He was the nice guy and I knew he cared. But I wasn’t ready for THAT type of caring relationship. Are you kidding me? Fear was still my primary bud. I needed to continue to date the guys that were reckless with my heart.

Though I wasn’t ready for the relationship that comes with a guy like him, this type of special guy was not lost on me. This guy taught me what a guy could be like. What a relationship could offer without ever being more than friends. I believed him. And he proved Mr. Avocado to be right.

MR. RIGHT

A year later, I move to Arizona. I continued to attract the guy that wouldn’t disappoint me, because I knew I wasn’t ready to give up my fear of real love. So I do that dance for a couple more years.

And then one unexpected night…. in walks Mr. Right. The ridiculously nice guy and really attractive. The type of guy that you don’t think is real, because he is just that into you, and amazing in all sorts of ways. The unicorn.

This time, I told fear to hit the road. I wasn’t going to miss out on love, again. Finally, I was ready for my love story.

Again, I listened to Mr. Avocado. This guy really cared about what hurt my heart and what brought joy. I could feel that he adored me. He was patient, kind to everyone, funny, adventurous. He tried the activities I enjoyed, while also introducing me to the things he was passionate about. He invested time in getting to know who I was and who I wanted to be.

He loved me in my glory and when I was at my worst. He stuck up for me, even when it was against his family. We became a team. Everyday, treating me as though I mattered and was important to him. Never trying to change me or tell me I needed to be someone different so it would be easier to love me.

Mr. Right embraced me for who I was and who I am. And I embraced him.

BYE FEAR! Hello Love!

Fear started to come around less and less. It was no longer taunting me. Slowly, I began to feel safe and noticed old habits that no longer served me, starting to slip away. I allowed myself to receive his love and give him mine. Trusting in the time I had with him, as our time, our story.

I felt loved everyday. Even on the bad ones. That is how I knew I had met the one. The risk was finally worth it.

Read this post to get ideas on how to be thoughtful to your spouse.

How did you know your spouse was the one? I’d love to hear your story.