Boom, boom, boom is all I can hear as my heart is pounding. My face feels as though lava is flowing under my skin. My hands are far from steady. I am not even sure I remember how to breathe in this moment.

Conflict is knocking. I must advert it. How can I get away from this moment, this feeling of embarrassment?

But it is more than embarrassment, it’s shame. Shame is swallowing me at the same time a bell is ringing truth that I was right all along. I am not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, funny enough, cool enough or any other enough. And I am far from likable. What was I thinking?! How can I make this better? Take action NOW or forever hide from this person.

These are the thoughts that used to run through my head more than I’d care to admit. Through the years they started to come less often. Until one day I decided shame didn’t get to be a part of my story any more. Shame is almost as hard to kick as sugar.

The thought that I AM BAD was no longer something I would allow myself to relate to. This thought had to be released. It could no longer be a part of my life.

And as I let go of that thought. Because let’s be real, I no longer needed it. It wasn’t keeping me “safe” any more, it was limiting me and keeping me down. I began to grow.

I started to find the moments that allowed me to see that I am enough and I am likable. And the bottom line was that I am lovable.

Personal development was something I dove into. Applying what I learned allowed me to change my life and my inner dialog.

In those moments when the lava would have taken over in the past, now I felt calmer and always remembered to breath. I knew that I had that moment, because of every thing that was inside me.

When other’s told me whatever I was going after wouldn’t work out for me, I did it anyway. If someone laughed, I smiled because I knew the depth of my strength inside.

I discovered that even if there was a little voice inside trying to trick me and tell me that I couldn’t, there was always a stronger piece saying I could. I started to listen to the could part. Space was given to that could voice and it grew and grew. I built up my inner could voice so much that the negative voice. The one that tries to bring me down. Doesn’t stand a chance.

And then I began receiving love and help when offered. When goodness comes into my life, it is my responsibility to accept it. And every act of kindness I have received went to strengthen that could voice, the voice that started as a whisper “you are enough.” And now that voice has a megaphone that drowns everything else out.

 

What steps have you taken to feed your positive inner voice?