Do you remember how easy a relationship is when you are falling in love?

When butterflies are having a party in your stomach? It is so easy. Easy to do the little things that really let your person know they matter. You want them in your life. They matter to you. You let them know they are important to you.

Then what? How much time passes before those excited feelings are replaced with comfortableness? And with that comfortableness comes the lack of the goods that came with the pursuit. How sad. The fizzle begins to set in. And that is dangerous for your happily ever after.

Keep The Goods Going…. Even In Long Term Relationships

What do you did you do today, this week, that let your partner know they are important to you? Did you struggle coming up with something? Have you found yourself there? In that spot when you forget to let your partner know that they are the most important relationship to you? When did it become so hard to be thoughtful? How did you get there? It can sneak up on you when you least expect it.

When we stop letting our partner know they matter through our words and actions, they start to feel like they don’t matter. And that is not good for anyone. When we start to feel unimportant, we no longer feel safe or connected in our relationship. We can start this unhealthy cycle of arguing or hurting each other trying to reengage the feelings of safety and connection, and sadly, they usually bring the couple farther apart.

Now, if you are trying to find a way out of the relationship than keep up the emotional neglect. Otherwise, it is time to make a change. Tell your partner “you are important to me” through your actions.

Hey Babe, You Are Important To Me

Find out what is going on in their day. 

One thing will do. And then follow up with them at the end of the day. Be interested in what they are saying. Listen to them, ask follow up questions, engage in the conversation, make eye contact. And then share about your day.

Put down your distraction.

It speaks loudly when you turn off the TV, the video game, or phone to look at your spouse when they are talking. Or to do something with them. Let your actions speak for your heart.

Receive the compliment.

Seriously. Why is this so hard for people? Let’s stop tearing ourselves down. Your partner sees good things in you or they wouldn’t be with you. Let them tell you about what they like. Practice hearing the compliment and then you smile and say “thank you.” The end. And that reminds me… make sure you are giving compliments. Don’t be keeping those sweet things to yourself. Share them.

Enlist the good old days.

What kind of things did you do at the beginning of the relationship? Invite them back in. Reignite the spark that set your hearts on fire. Simple things go along way. People just want to know they matter and that they are special. The how can be different for everyone. Know your partners how and then act on it.

Bucket list anyone?

Make something happen. We only live once, right? Create memories together.

XOXOXOX.

A loving touch can mean a lot. A kiss and hug a day keeps the lonely away. We really only get to kiss our partner… so kiss em. Hug them. Hold hands. Flirt. Dance. Laugh.

Play together.

So much seriousness and responsibilities in life. Make sure you are finding ways to have fun, unwind, and laugh together. Find something you can do as a couple that you both find fun and then plan to do it on a regular basis.

Surprise!

Maybe a little surprise gift here and there. Simple or extravagant… up to you. Pick random days to surprise your love with something that they would like to let them know “you are important to me.” Have fun with it.

Keeping your relationship a priority helps maintain the good stuff and keeps the not so fun stuff at bay.

We can’t bank on the commitment that was made to do the work for us. Relationships need upkeep like anything else that matters in your life that you want to be around a long time. This doesn’t have to be difficult. It can be as hard or easy as you would like it to be.