Full Heart to Heart Break

I’ve been thinking about how to share this story over the last couples weeks. I know it is a story that many relate to. And one that many do not. It’s one that I don’t have the skills to paint the picture of the unconditional love that was given and received.

Because I do not know how to tell his story… I will just start and have it unfold as I go.

I was going in between clients homes and I noticed a sign by a house that said it was a rescue for dogs. Since I had some extra time, I thought I would stop and say hi. I had been wanting to have a dog ever since I left my dad’s and Gizmo when I went to college.

Commitment was something that appeared to be an area I struggled in. Getting a dog as an adult would let me know that I was capable of loving and committing to someone other than myself. I knew that I would not actually get a dog if I could not agree to spend the next 10 to 15 years with him.

Fantastic Decisions Can Be Made With A Snuggle Moment

Stopping at the rescue was one of the best decisions I have ever made. There were several dogs there. A beautiful blond, rambunctious puppy that stood out to me. However, this adorable little, black puppy kept crawling into my lab and snuggling up to me. My heart was melting. At that moment, Maddox chose me. And I decided he was going to be a huge part of my life…. until it was his time to go.

On the way home he rode in my lap, snoozing away. I fell in love with this puppy and knew we were going to have great adventures. And did we ever. He went everywhere with me, including many dates. Actually, several arguments with boyfriends took place over me defending our lifestyle. While other guys, including Keoni, embraced it.

I give everyone in my family many nicknames. Maddox was included in this. Maddykins, Mad, Cuddle Buddy, Kin Kins, and on it went. He came to almost every one.

Maddox was my best friend. My first date with Keoni was at the dog park. Keoni and Mad hit it off right away. And Mad taught Keoni the value of loving a dog. Maddox got to go through many transitions with me, including becoming a protector of my son.

 

One Day Changes Everything

Early morning on June 5th, my family’s life changed. Our Maddox left us. It appeared as though his liver failed over night. We had taken him to the animal hospital a couple of days before, and his blood work was fine and told he was just sick. So when he started convulsing, we were shocked and Keoni rushed him to the hospital in the middle of the night. He was in the animal hospital for 25 hours before it was his time to go. Though the vets did what they could, they had never seen numbers like his at this point and had no idea what was wrong besides liver failure. The cause was unknown.

And as we go through the waves of emotions, I know that our lives were made more amazing having spent his life with him. Though, Maddox’s absence is felt every day, we focus on the joy he brought. We also know he is still with us, we just can’t see him anymore.

I was also given an opportunity to talk with my 4-year-old about death and sickness. Include all of the feelings he is experiencing and seeing around him. But that is more for another post.

Maddox Was An Incredible Being

He Loved Walks

I know all dogs like walks… but Maddox was obsessed. After all, he did receive 2 to 3 walks every single day of his life regardless if we lived in an apartment or house with a doggy door. Walking was his passion. Smelling as much as possible and peeing on even more. The weather never mattered… rainy Oregon or oven hot Phoenix…. he wanted his walks. We took him on over 10,000 walks in his life. One last walk was a must before we transferred him to the ICU. Pretty sure he felt at peace in that moment.

De-escalator Extraordinaire

Wow, did he have this ability to know when I was getting frustrated and he would come and put his paw on me. It worked every time. Great way to de-escalate any moment that was getting heated. He had this look… don’t be mad… at anyone… ever.

We just had this incredible emotional connection. He was very wise, after all, he did have Yoda ears.

Health Food Nut

Maddox had an incredibly healthy diet. At one time we even fed him a raw diet (super gross since the rest of us live a vegan lifestyle), however, his tummy did not agree with it so we changed to making most of his dog food. Now, he did enjoy his raw food, but man oh man, this dog LOVED sweet potatoes and seaweed like something fierce. He would cry for sweet potatoes.

My Way or We Don’t Move

Ah, when we would go on walks, if he didn’t want to go the way we were walking, he would protest. He would lay on the ground and not move until we turned in the direction he wanted to go. I guess when you have a destination in mind, you do what you need to in order to make it happen.

Sun Bathing Was His Thing

This dog. Not a fan of the rain, but man did he enjoy the sun. Even on the hottest Phoenix, AZ days, this one would go and lay on the sidewalk and sun bathe. He just loved it. I would try to put some ice next to him to keep him cool. Nope. Not having it. He would get up and then go lay on a hotter spot.

And then he would just observe all that was around him. Enjoying life.

Because of Him, I Met Keoni

When Maddox was a puppy, I let him off leash around our condo complex. He would run into my neighbors garages when they were open. This was how I met most of my neighbors when I lived in Litchfield Park. And one day I met Marty and Peanut (her dog). Thanks to Maddox running up to play.

It was through Marty and a guy she was dating that I met Keonimana. How cool is that? When I once wondered if I could commit to someone, I got Maddox and fully committed. Then he lead me to the person who would lead me to meet my future husband. How full circle is that?!

Anyway, I loved Maddox so incredibly much. He changed my life and helped my heart heal from many injuries it had experienced. The love and joy he brought was unbelievable. I have had great dogs in my life, but Maddox was something special.

And I know many of you feel the same way about a fur family member. I just want you to know that losing a pet, when they die, and they were a part of your life, truly a part. It is okay to feel as if a family member died, because they did. Some of us love our pets more than we love people extended family members. And even if that isn’t the case, love is love, and death and loss sucks no matter who it is that we loved, animal or person.

 

A friend created a gofundme page for Maddox’s vet bill. Donating and/or Sharing is helping. Thank you loves!! xoxox