Back when I first started dating, I desperately wanted to communicate effectively and ask for what I wanted. But I was going about it in a way that seemed to lead to an argument and that wasn’t the goal. Ever.

And then in one of my human development classes, I learned about “I statements” and I was pumped. I excitedly rushed home to tell my then boyfriend about this magic tool that will help us communicate in a healthier way.

He wasn’t into it. Said it was too weird. I thought, “I’m using it anyway.” And I did. (But now, years later, he uses them all the time at work and I’m sure at home.)

I saw it start to change my communication style and relieve myself of frustration. I finally had a tool that I could use on my part, regardless of what anyone else was doing.

It was like I was using the lasso of truth on myself. I began to understand my feelings better and what I needed. And the concept of teaching people how to treat me made so much sense.

And I want to encourage you to begin to use I statements in your relationships as well. Expect it to feel weird. It would feel weird if you started to eat with your left hand and your right handed, doesn’t mean you wouldn’t if you needed to.

So consider using I statements as a tool to bring yourself closer to your partner.

If you’re already using I statements and would like additional tools, let me know in the comments or DM me on Instagram @beautifullychanged and I’ll provide some info for that.

Have a beautiful day. Remember the world needs you. You and you’re partner are a team.

Sending so much love your way, Steph