Calling all bullies, mean girls, and keyboard warriors….. give me a minute.

I know you’re in pain. I see it. In the words you speak, in the things you type, in the way people feel after they leave your side.

What’s happening at that moment that can only be relieved by trying your best to make someone else feel small, disposable even?

I get it. Just like the cutter cuts to numb their emotional pain, you use your words to sting, to lash out, to transfer your pain to another.

And it works for a moment. And then the pain returns. How infuriating! Why won’t it just stay away? So you must hurt another. Again and again and again. It doesn’t matter at that moment the pain that already exists in your target. It’s a relief you’re seeking without thinking through the ripple effect. And you don’t even care as long as that pain is transferred for a moment. That calm, that illusion of peace, is all that you seek. The rest is collateral damage.

I know your pain is masked by these fake tough actions. Because only someone in extreme emotional pain can turn to fear and anger instead of compassion.

Your pain can enhance your life or destroy you. I see you getting sucked into a life of disaster.

Perhaps you think you’re all alone. That fear is suffocating. Don’t you know that every tear you give someone else, is just one more added to the pain in their story? The injuries you’re causing because you fight and deny your own pain – only result in more pain. For you and them. And this additional pain continues the cycle. Your broken heartedness increases.

When our hearts are broken, we question if we are loveable or if we are able to love.

And instead of finding the answer to this question, which is a resounding yes. Yes! Of course, you’re lovable and you can choose love.

But you pick fear and gave yourself the mission to break the hearts of others. To make them question if they are indeed lovable as well. That is a mission that will eat at your soul, no matter how much you pretend it won’t. You’re adding to your list of the things you’ll need to forgive. Every tear you help create is an action to self forgive.

How many tears need to fall, how many hearts need to break, how much confidence needs to be crushed before you feel whole? Can’t you see it won’t ever work that way?

Let me share with you another way.

Feel your pain so you can release your pain in a way that heals instead of poisons. Release your pain instead of chasing temporary relief like a meth addict chases speed.

Decide to make a helpful difference in the world – you can do that. You can choose love and face your pain. You can survive it.

Your actions scream pain and loneliness even if you’re surrounded by laughter and cheers. Because no one, not even you, who is happy and working through their pain can treat another person that way. They don’t want to create that pain in others because they understand the damage that is done and the fight that it takes to love themselves after.

Please join me in mending hearts instead of breaking hearts.

The world needs the gifts you have as soon as you face up to all that’s making you so sad.

Hotlines if you’d like someone to talk to.

Remember, whether you’ve received the bullying or are the bully, the world needs you. So heal your pain and show up. We’re waiting for you.

Sending so much love your way, Steph

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