I have discovered the secret to happiness.

Regardless if it is a happy relationship, a happy working environment, happiness when you look in the mirror and on and on it goes. It all comes down to…..

Kindness!

That’s right. Kindness is the key!! And that key is already in your possession. You can use it anytime you want. You simply choose it.

Now I know that deciding to be kind can actually take some work in certain situations. Especially when some jerk is involved or someone is acting like a jerk. Or when you are super grumpy or hangry. However, you really truly can only be in control of your part in any interaction.

Even when your mind is blown about how the other person is acting. Kindness will shift the way you see the exchange later when you replay it in your head. (I can’t be the only who does that!)

Tony Knows!

Through talking with thousands upon thousands of people, Tony Robbins discovered that the common theme around people’s best moments are when those moments include growth and contribution to something outside of yourself.

When we are suffering  (suffering is any ‘negative’ emotion), we are obsessing about ourselves. Such as what isn’t going right, what we think isn’t fair, how rude others are, the negatives in our life or life in general.

Now, this doesn’t mean you can’t ever suffer. Somethings piss us off or other situations have tears pouring down our face. It just means we don’t live in the suffering. We choose to move through the suffering after acknowledging it and experiencing that emotion.  And then we return to happiness where our kindness can thrive. And there we find ourselves thriving as well.

Kindness is something that speaks to my soul.

I believe in it so much. I do think it is the cure for all the hate and violence that goes on in the world. For the broken hearts and thoughts of suicide. For the lonely and the angry. EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. can benefit from kindness, regardless of any status or label we want to give them.

“It’s not our job to play judge and jury, to determine who is worthy of our kindness and who is not. We just need to be kind, unconditionally and without ulterior motive, even – or rather, especially – when we’d prefer not to be.”  ~ Josh Radnor

Ways to practice kindness:

1. Make love an action. Daily.
2. Be generous. Giving is majorly important. I know it feels like it’s hard to give when you are struggling emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, or financially yourself, however, I encourage you to do it anyway. In the moments you feel inspired. In the ways that speak to you. You can give money, time, smiles, or things that you create.
   1. Tony says, and I agree, that if you won’t give when you are “broke,”  you won’t give when you aren’t. Start giving now. You have control over how and what you give. Let your heart lead you. You don’t have to give to everyone. Give to those who pull at your heart.
3. Be thoughtful.
4. Say kind things to others and yourself.
5. Do nice things. Help someone do something or do it for them (an act of service). And spend time in self-care.
6. Volunteer.
7. Turn towards your partner.
8. Be playful with your loved ones and on your own.
9. Forgive yourself and others.
10. Treat people even better than you’d like them to treat you.
11. Use manners.
12. Engage in conversation. Ask people follow up questions. Be interested in what others are saying.
13. Give hugs (and other wanted touch depending on the relationship).
14. Spend time together having fun and engaged in deep conversation.
15. Learn about the people in your life. Know who they are.
16. Give a gift here and there, even on regular days.
17. Practice gratitude and appreciation.
18. Pay attention to the moment you are in.
19. Include others.
20. Make a meal for someone.
21. Be aware of your tone and body language. They can say a lot!
22. and on and on I can go. Hopefully, by now, you have a solid idea of ways to be kind.

If not, think of the kindest person you know.

How did they receive that title in your mind? What do they do? How do they act? Do they seem happy consistently? Why do they stand out to you? Now, mimic them. Go be kind. You have a model. They are a resource for you to strengthen your kindness muscle.

Sit back and watch and feel your life change.

You will even hear it change with your exchanges with others. Especially your partner. (I have come to find we can be our most unkind selves to our partners…. and this hurts the relationship. Duh, right?!)

And you may just be changing someone else’s life with your kindness even though you may never know it. There is a lot of power behind kindness. It plants seeds that you may never get to see sown.

It makes the world a better place. Your kindness will inspire someone else’s kindness and on the ripple goes. And especially for all the things unknown. It still makes a difference in the world. The ripples happen regardless of how many know about your kindness.  And then the frequency of the world gets a little higher.

I want to thank you for all the good you do for yourself and for others. In the moments when it would be easy to be annoyed, feisty, rude, or inpatient and you choose kindness anyway.

I hope you continue to choose kindness every day. The world needs it.

Much love,

Steph