Listen to my podcast episode about friendship. My friend, Kristi, joins me for the discussion.

Beautiful Soul,

I saw you today pretending you didn’t see me and my little one.

A few months ago, I would have felt offended, embarrassed and sad for my son because of how much he likes you and yours.

And then in a moment I remembered we are all wounded, all want to be loved and we are all made of the same stuff. God/Spirit/The Universe/Love is in all of us or none of us. I can’t pick and choose just because a behavior hurts my feelings.

As you crossed the street, I smiled knowing that you are filled with good. And for whatever reason, I will likely never know, a friend has become a stranger. But my head did not hang. I smiled as I walked the rest of the way home. With a deep knowing that both of our hearts beat for love.

I have decided that living in the past is a habit I am now letting go.

I no longer need to relive the past moments and try to find the moment I messed up or you messed up. Because it can’t change the present. And I don’t want those negative, self criticizing paths to be reinforced any longer in my brain. I want my brain to be overflowing with paths filled with positive memories.

My time is going to be given to the present and when my mind must drift off, I will watch that it goes to positive things and let go of the ones that reinforce the pain.

Now, I do use the pain from the past to help guide my life in the sense that I want to learn from it and do my best to prevent a repeat of that injury. However, it is not something I need to replay until it feels like my tears are bleeding from my eyes.

Every relationship is meant for those who experience it.

Regardless of how you became friends and the road that friendship took, it was meant for you. No matter how long it lasted, it was a gift. And all of my crazy, heartbreaking, or love, fun-filled relationships, were meant for me.

This also includes co-workers, bosses, family, service workers… and on the list goes. Every person we have contact with, was meant for us.

We must have gratitude for that relationship. And then what if we started to think about what do we want to give in the relationships around us, instead of what we want from the relationships around us? Seriously, what can you give? What is your part in that relationship? And how do you own your side and what you bring to the table?

We all provide different characteristics in our relationships. Think about it. Do you have a friend that is the one you call when you want to get a bit crazy, one you call when you need to vent or cry, perhaps a workout buddy, and on the list goes. All of these people are providing a special gift to your relationship. And you provide one as well.  As do I.

Now, we are going to continue to let others down. We can’t meet every expectation. Especially the ones we don’t even know about. But what we can do, is see the love and the good in all those we meet. Know that we were meant to meet that person for some reason. We can give what we value. And perhaps, just maybe, we can leave our expectations at the door, and greet these people with what they can give and try on the idea of accepting them where they are. And then just love. Even if from afar.