Episode 110: Here Is When You’ll Move Past Your Partner’s Sexual Past

You’ll move past your partner’s sexual past the first time you forget to think of her exes when you’re kissing her and laying next to her. After, you’ll notice something was different and it felt better. More comfortable. And then you’ll realize you didn’t think about her past because you were so into her in that moment. You were completely in the present. With her.

You’ll get over her sexual past when you start to be playful and leave the lights on and are so zoomed in on her that your mind forgets to focus on the areas that you think are lacking.

So you will let the comparisons lessen and lessen until they disappear altogether. You begin building your confidence by believing what she says and how her body responds to you. And you start doing things every day that builds your own perspective of yourself. You know you bring something to the table and she enjoys you.

You’ll move past her past sexual experiences when you find gratitude for them and her past lovers because they helped shape her and you are the one with her. And you love her. And she loves you.

She isn’t with you out of convenience or because it’s so easy. She is with you because she sees you. She wants you. She didn’t know you were her guy when she was experiencing her past. It’s okay for her to have a past different or similar to yours, because her past isn’t about you, it’s about her and her journey through this life.

And if her ex was really attractive. Let me take this opportunity to remind you, that looks alone cannot maintain passion, love, and friendship. Nor can they create the best orgasms. There has to be so much more depth. You are that depth. Your looks are a bonus.

As a side note. Maybe not ask for more details about her past if something is bothering you. You cannot unknow what you learn.

Is this a trust issue or lack of confidence issue?

If you honestly feel like there is a skill missing in the bedroom, you can learn new skills or enhance the ones you have. But don’t turn to porn for that education. Turn to her. Ask questions. Be playful. Learn her. And there are even sex coaches out there that specialize in helping you enhance your sex life, build your confidence, and release the shame that can come with sexuality. Heck, talk about your fantasy date with her and then create it.

If you’re thinking you can use a bit of confidence, then work on building your confidence. And at the end of the day, really know on a soul level that she is with you because she wants to be with you. She chose you. Be confident in that. Be confident in who you are and the connection you have. Her past is part of her journey that lead her to you. Enjoy your relationship. Now.

Your job isn’t to love her past. It’s to not let it ruin what you have right in front of you, right now. You are her present.

So feel your emotions as they come up, take a moment, and soothe yourself. And then, return to her. You’ve got this. You do hard things all the time. This is also something you can work through.

Sending so much love your way, Steph