Relationships are super important to me and how full my heart feels.

And even though I cherish every moment with my boys, spending time with a friend helps me thrive as well. Friendships add a particular type of dynamic to life that adds layers of joy, perspective, twists to conversations, diverse types of activities and they tap into a different part of my soul.

I know that friendships need to be nurtured and cultivated to increase the meaningfulness and the benefits that they provide. I truly want to be a great friend to those I am spending my time with and to those who are spending time with me. Because let’s be real…. we only have so much time and if someone is giving you their’s, that is saying how valuable you are to them and they are to you. And I never want to take that for granted.

For almost the last two years, I have been spending pretty much every Tuesday available with the same friend. And it was very fun to watch our friendship unfold over fitness classes, lunch, playdates, detoxes, life transitions and so much more.

And then I left the Portland area the end of March to travel a bit. And I miss my friend. The hours of just having time to be silly and adult in a different way than I spend the rest of the week. Those moments were very meaningful to me.

So we decided to take a girlcation.

She was invited to review this incredible inn that caters to the vegan lifestyle. And she was sweet and generous enough to invite me with. As she said, “it is right up our alley.” Yummy food, yoga, sightseeing, and of course, each other.

I drove up from Vegas. Actually, my husband drove my son and me up. We had lots of fun stops on the way. Including Death Valley and Yosemite. They planned on camping after they dropped me off in Mendicino, however, it was too cold for them so they got a hotel in the next town over for some guy bonding. They planned to pick me up at the end of my stay with my lovely friend. And she drove down from Portland. PS. If you have yet to drive down the 101… put that on your bucket list. #gorgeousdrive

We had so many adventures that provided many opportunities for me to grow.

We arrived on Wednesday and would depart on Monday. This meant we got to spend five days enjoying life and time together. The Inn and grounds were breathtaking. We were staying at Stanford Inn by the Sea in Mendicino, CA. And it was so incredibly lovely and energizing yet calming at the same time.

The view from our room was wonderful. Seriously, whoever designed the grounds needs to receive an award. We even had a nice view of the ocean and enjoyed time on the patio reading to each other. One of my favorite things to do.

We spent almost every night in the hot tub for a bit and then would sit in the sauna for a few minutes getting nice and toasty. The pool house was also a greenhouse!! So the environment was so relaxing. They even had banana trees in there!!

I loved this time. It allowed us time to wind down for the night and have a pleasant conversation. And then we would head back to our room in the most comfortable robes ever. You know how most hotels act like they have super nice robes and then you put them on and it feels like a worn out towel? Not these ones my friend. They were magical. Almost as magical as the sheets. Seriously, I was obsessed with how soft the sheets where. As if sleeping on sheets made from angel dust. Definitely ordering some for myself.

The Food

Um, an incredible breakfast was included every morning… with fresh juice! Hello, my love.

And every day when we would come back to our room, we had fresh amazing vegan chocolate chip cookies waiting for us. Seriously, they were the best cookies. I’d buy stock in them if I could. I still miss those cookies.

We looked forward to tea time every day. We were served a pot of tea and a dessert that was always divine. Oh, the goodness. And it was so cute and fun to enjoy this time every day with my friend. It was also a time to say hi to other guests. And they even let pets hang out in that area of the inn. Cute pups were definitely part of the fun site seeing.

Thursday night we had dinner with one of the owners and ended up spending two and a half hours eating and talking about the good stuff in life.

Mendicino, the most adorable coastal town ever also had vegan food for us to enjoy. And a cute store that had the most amazing superfood popcorn that I can’t seem to find anywhere else.

Participating in a cooking class where we laughed and learned about making simple, delicious whole plant-based meals. We made a creamy soup out of roasted vegetables, a cheesy sprinkle, pesto, and a vegan ranch. It was amazing and we even got to wear fun aprons and eat the food when it was done. Nom nom.

We are pretty much chefs now.

I think bonding over food matters. It feeds our body, mind, and soul. And it is always better when bonding over food that nourishes us than depletes us.

Yoga

Okay… we only did yoga one day. But it was great. We were super active though throughout the days so our bodies still got movement in.

We Got To Go On An Outrigger!

I had no idea what an outrigger was. However, I was looking forward to the adventure. And then when we realized what we were doing, we got pumped. Plus the guy at the boathouse informed us that outriggers are really tough to knock over. This was super good news for us because neither of us should be trusted to swim without a life vest on haha.

What an incredible experience. I sat in the back and was in charge of steering us by pushing the pedals which then move the rudders. The way down the river was easy peasy and beautiful. It was so easy we floated an hour down without feeling a breeze.

At one point I thought we saw beavers. Little animal heads were popping out of the water. And we were in a river… so I thought beavers. And then we realized they were SEALS!!! What?! And so many of them!!! It was so cool. They would dive under and swim forever before popping their cute little heads out again.

 

And then we had to make our way back.

Holy moly. This was an incredible workout. Seriously. My delts were sore for a couple of days. The wind was blowing hard against us and we had to row the entire way back to the boathouse. The Big River was making us work and teaching me a life lesson at the same time. Even though I could see our destination and where we needed to go, we hardly went straight. I was consistently moving the paddles to adjust the rudders.

And with all of the adjustments, I was still able to get us to the boathouse. We had to work together to row to move towards the destination. And this included changing which side of the outrigger we were rowing on.

It was so much fun though. Working hard, laughing, and enjoying the process. It was one of my favorite activities of the week.

 

Our friendship got stronger after a moment when it got harder.

Our first argument happened on this trip. It was heartbreaking at the moment. We had never really argued before. And it was scary. It made me worry that I would lose my friend.

However, arguments are not a bad thing if used to strengthen the relationship. It helped us learn more about each other. To understand deeper and be able to shift in our friendship to enhance our relationship.

I know I have grown. In the past when a disagreement would happen, I would often step away from the relationship feeling as if I had messed up so much that I wasn’t worth the friendship anymore.  And those friends in the past, usually let me.

With this friend, I was able to see that I still had value and she also sees that in me. And that she still has value and I see that in her.  That our friendship is not doomed, it is strengthened by the knowledge we gained. And we truly had love and acceptance for each other. Even when we are different. Because, seriously, we have so much in common, sometimes it feels like she is my soultwin.

The wrong turn, perfect view.

Out to find a recommended hike, we took a wrong turn and ended up at a lighthouse. (Sidenote, I had an old friend once tell me that I am like a lighthouse to him, so lighthouses always hold a special place in my heart. I am not sure exactly what he meant by that, however, I do know it was something good.)

We decided to take a peek. And I will forever be grateful that we did. The most breathtaking views of the ocean awaited us. We could have sat there forever watching the ocean. And walking on the edge. I hope everyone gets to see a view like we did at some point in their life. It was what nature advantage is all about.

Another day, we were pretty excited to go on a hike called the Jug Handle because it has stairs. I don’t know if we didn’t find the stairs or what. We did see a short set of man-made stairs, but not natural ones. Regardless, we enjoyed the hike, but wouldn’t suggest it as a must see when in the area. Oh, we did get to see a pygmy forest, which basically means short trees because the soil is too hard for the roots to grow deep.

Bike Ride For The Soul

Our last day was perfect. An amazing breakfast to fuel up for a phenomenal bike ride. Seriously, this was glorious. Unless we stopped, and then mosquitoes would ring their lunch bells. So we kept it moving on a trail that ran alongside the Big River across from the Inn.

The path was big and easy to ride on. In the beginning, we could easily see the river and the further we went, we were surrounded by redwoods. Wildflowers, butterflies, and dragonflies joined us for the adventure. It felt playful and young.

And it worked up an appetite for our cooking class we would be enjoying that day.

But first, we had to stop and see the donkeys and llamas. It was a special moment when we got to feed the donkeys a treat. They loved them and their little mouths felt so cool and soft as they took the treat from my hand.

As we headed back to the Inn, through the garden, Sunny had to take one more opportunity to tease me about eating an edible flower, which I couldn’t get myself to do (though nor would she).

It really was the perfect day.

And the perfect way to end an incredible week.

Spending time with friends is very important to our wellbeing.

Even if it is only a friend or two, they make a difference.  Life is about connecting with others, sharing your stories, joys, and sorrows. We can’t really make it through this life alone. Obstacles and heartache will always be thrown at us and when we have a sounding board outside of yourself, it can make all the difference. Because sometimes the things we tell ourselves are lies.

We can be cruel to ourselves, and friends will love us and see our value through our flaws. And a hug from a friend will always beat a hug from ourselves.