*Caution… not a PG post ahead

It appears men of all ages spend as much time worrying about their penis as women do about their breasts or heck, their body in general. But does size really matter as much as you think it does?

I’m not going to lie. Some girls do think the size of your junk matters more than others. But not just because of pleasure. Some women sometimes think that it matters more than it actually does because they hear someone talking about a huge dick and how cool they are. Society can play tricks on our expectations or at least what we think something will be like. So a part of them feels really cool or special because their guy has a larger than a normal sized member. And that’s fine.

And even if you’ve seen a variety of sizes, when women hear about these gigantic cocks, they do get curious. Especially when his friends all call him “horse”.  Like what’s that about and how big are we talking here before someone gets awarded that nickname? I mean it would be cool to see this mythical beast. Is he related to Ron Jeremy?

But for pleasure, your size doesn’t matter as much as your skill does. I mean yay for you if you’re packing some heat, but if you don’t have any skill to go with it, there’ll be a sad face hidden under a fake orgasm.

The girth of a penis can be more important than the length when it comes to pleasure, however, skill is still going to be the maker or breaker of orgasms, pleasure, an overall enjoyable sexual experience. Skill will always trump size.  And having confidence in your body no matter what your size will add to your enjoyment as well.

“According to a study reported in the journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity, the erect penis size of most men — 68 percent — is between 4.6 and 6 inches long. About 16 percent of men have an erect penis size longer than 6.1 inches, and of those only 2.5 percent are over 6.9 inches. About 16 percent of men have an erect penis size that’s shorter than 4.5 inches, with only 2.5 percent of those under 3.7 inches.” from Everyday Health

And rest assured that regardless of the size of your penis, you are likely to be able to connect with her G-spot. And how awesome for you that her clit is within easy reach. Because it’s outside of her body and the main source for female orgasm. It should be part of the sexy time play anyway. If you are ignoring the clitoris… it’s time to introduce yourself.

And the way you treat her is going to matter to her way more than the size of your package. So if you’re a nice guy with a little, literally little, friend, then make sure you bring some skills in the bedroom. And keep treating her like a queen outside of the bedroom.

Because really, you can have the biggest penis she has ever seen and maybe this has her feeling “full,” however if you don’t know what you’re doing or you’re a dick outside of the bedroom… that will be more memorable than your penis size.

How can you make sure that your skills are on point:

Really figure out what brings her pleasure. Make it fun and satisfying. Learn her body and your bodies together.

Often times men forget about how important foreplay is for your lady. Foreplay can start as early in the day as you wake up. Because my hunky friend, foreplay for your girl starts outside of the bedroom. And this can be something as simple as your attitude. Are you having a pleasant vibe about you or grumpy? Grumpy isn’t fun or won’t make your lady start thinking about being naked with you. She’s thinking about how to not increase the grumps and perhaps how she can spend less time with you.

I’m not saying you can’t be grumpy… just not to expect any sexy time on those days. Because you’ll be going to bed disappointed to start the cycle again the next day.

Does she feel desired… not do you want sex, but is she what you desire. It couldn’t be sex with anyone that get’s you this excited. It’s naked time with her that gets you all riled up.

Women often tell me they like the time before sex when they are being playful with their guy, maybe even chasing each other around the room. They want to laugh, feel sexy, and desired. I have yet to meet a lady who wants to feel like a means to an end or glorified masturbation.

Put in the time for touching her, kissing her, enticing her to come and spend some time in pleasure with you. Invite her to this party with time to allow her to get ready for it… if you know what I mean. If not, boy, you’ve got some work to do.

The bottom line:

When you see your girl naked, you think boobies, yay, I love boobies!! You aren’t thinking about how you wish her boobies were different. You enjoy her boobs. Your penis is the in the same boat. And it’s the lack of skill or not knowing her body and pleasure points that’s the actual deal breaker.

And there is the exception to the rule. Some women will care more about the size than anything else. Perhaps that girl isn’t for you. And maybe she is. It’s important to also check in with how you’re feeling when you are with her. Do you feel good as well?

What to do if you have a larger than average penis:

Edit: Several men have reached out and asked about painful sex due to their penis being larger than average. And even though this could seem like a *brag* it is a real issue. I decided to add in this edit and apologize for leaving you out in the first place.

The pain can come from the penis hitting her cervix. This means you’ll want to try different sex positions and stick to the ones that work for the two of you. These would be the ones that allow you or her to control the depth.

A vagina can double in size during intercourse if she is really aroused. So if you have a large penis, you need to make sure your partner is really turned on to lessen the chance of pain. Take the time to stimulate her mind and body sexually.

Remember, if sex has been painful in the past, she might have more anxiety around sex due to it being painful. This is why I say stimulate her mind. Help her find the pleasure in the moment. Bring her to the now.

You can also try out some of these assessories.

Comeclose pleasure ring. This is a spacer that you’ll put at the end of your penis to prevent you from going all in thus preventing pain during intercourse. Or go to your local adult store and find something that will block the penis from going all in.

Lube can be great to help reduce friction, but remember, this does not replace her actually being turned on. If she isn’t aroused, her vagina will not have changed size. Remember, her clitoris is your bestie.

2 easy action steps:

• Options for foreplay outside the bedroom, pick one to start adding in daily:
  • Have a positive and friendly attitude. Smile. Engage when she is talking to you. Make eye contact with her.
  • Provide a variety of compliments and include her body, mind, and personality. (“I really appreciate how kind you are to our friends.” “Thank you for taking care of our health with the food you cook.” “Your elbows are sexy.” “I’m lucky to be your man.” “How did I get the most amazing woman in the world.” Be creative. You can come up with way better than you have been.
  • Touch her in non-sexual ways throughout the day. Meaning, don’t just grab her butt and boobs while saying how much you want to do it. Instead, give her hugs from behind, give her neck a little peck, hold her hand. Let her know that being close to her even with clothes on is something you enjoy.
  • Find ways to have fun with her. Think about when she laughs the most or seems the most alive. Do more of that.
  • Dance with her.
  • Send her songs that remind you of her.
  • Tell her you are thinking of her.
  • Engage in a physical activity with her such as working out, hiking, going for a walk, or whatever sounds fun to you. It’s important to be physical with her outside of the bedroom. Show her your strength in other ways. That is a way she’ll start to think about your body with more desire.
• Get to know her body: schedule a night where sex isn’t the goal. Even tell her, “tonight, I want to get to know your body, but we aren’t going to have sex.” And then you set up the environment to be calming and romantic. Perhaps this is dim lighting or candles. Soft music she enjoys in the background. Come prepared with a feather, massage oil, and whatever else you think would be fun to use on her body. Take turns experimenting with pressure and different types of touch such as a light tickle, a heavy hand glide that pulls on the skin, or just holding your hand in one spot with light pressure and then more pressure. Do this all over her body and then ask her to do the same for you. Kiss different parts of her body with different pressure. Take mental notes. Keep what she likes and throw out the rest. The key here is no sex. Unless she is begging you for it at the end, then well, you know. You are helping create the groundwork that sex is fun and compelling, her body is beautiful, and there is pleasure in this for her too.

Now go get ’em tiger. And remember, size doesn’t matter.

Sending so much love and positivity your way, Steph