John* recently asked, “I want a date with my wife to end in sex. I really enjoy connecting with her physically. How do I make this happen? Does the food matter?”

Great question and makes sense. Many husbands have the love language of touch and one of their favorite activities and ways of connecting is through physical intimacy with their wife. Even if they recently had a fight.

I love that you want to take your wife on a date or create one at home. *fist bump* That’s putting you in the right direction and potentially filling her up with love on an emotional level and in a way that she connects with you on a deeper level. Whether that is through quality time, appreciation through your words, or perhaps something special for her such as flowers or candy.

I don’t think the food really matters as long as it’s an attempt at the food she likes. How much you spend on the meal doesn’t really matter either.

What does matter, is that you’re interested in her. 

Think back to your first few dates or even months of getting to know each other. You most likely asked her questions and really leaned into her answers. Your attention was on her, including your eyes and smile. Remember what your energy was like, including your tone of voice.

Look at her and speak to her like you did when you first fell in love throughout the entire current date. Actually the more you do this on your day to day interactions, the better it is for your relationship in the long run.

The happiest couples have a strong friendship. They’re best friends and lovers. They had to create this environment by having fun together and learning about each other regardless of how long they’ve been together.

Continue to ask your wife questions. Get to know her and who she is today. The answers to the questions you asked when you met may have changed.

And have fun together. Lots of fun, including belly laughs! Look each other in the eye while having fun and being in love. Watch her face and let her see yours while you guys are in this state of love and bliss.

The bottom line. Be interested in your wife and treat her as if you’re in love with her.

And because I’m rooting for you. Here is an activity, Maintain Your Friendship, that you can create a romantic date around and see where it leads. If you’re not in the best spot with your wife, it may not lead to sex, however, it’ll start the healing process. Print it out and have so much fun!

Sending so much love and positivity your way, Steph

Have a question? DM me on IG @beautifullychanged or send me an email at stephanie@beautifullychanged.com

*name changed