Let’s talk about sex and your wifey. We all know… seriously, we know… you want to have more sexy time with her. And why wouldn’t you? She is a hottie and you put a ring on it. But over time, mattress dancing has been fading out.

And you are NOT a BAD GUY because you would like to have more sex with your wife.

How do you get it back? And who I am to tell you?!

Glad you asked. I have been learning about relationships my entire life. I’ve read lots of books, ya know those ancient things that make a great coaster, on the subject of relationships including the sexual side, taken lots of classes and have talked to many people about their sex life.

And I have worked with couples for years and many have very similar complaints. So my education (for those interested: BS in Health and Human Development and a masters in advance study in Marriage and Family Therapy, plus way more), work experience, and life experience really lend me a hand when it comes to this subject. I’m pretty much a love guru. 😉 😉 😉 Ha! (I make myself giggle.)

Plus, even though sex is great (how about those organism.. nudge nudge) it is often times not talked about because it makes us blush.

So this is going to be an ongoing discussion. I hope you will be joining me in the comments so we can really get into this topic.

Tip #1 To Increase The Happiness Of Your Penis

MAKE HER FEEL SPECIAL. That’s right. Make HER feel special. Beyond, “wanna do it?” Seriously, how are you emotionally rocking her world?

My tips for today may seem simple, because in all honestly they are. So simple in fact it is easy for us to push them to the side as if they don’t matter. Sex starts outside the bedroom in building your friendship and this leads to a more satisfying sex life. I know, that’s not what you want to hear.

Crap… I have to do more work? I’m out. Well than have a nice talk with your penis about how you are making the decision for less and less mattress dancing because you don’t want to put in any extra effort for the lady you got down on one knee for once upon a time.

So yes, it is “work” in the sense that you need to put in some effort.

Put the Focus On HER

Send her a text at a random time during the day with a specific compliment about her as a person.

Then make it your mission to get to know her again. Really truly know her. What makes her tick? What are her current dreams and goals? Who does she currently admire?

When we first start dating we take the time to ask a ton of questions and then we stop. You need to know her today because she isn’t the same person you married. Thankfully. If we aren’t growing, we are missing out. Be genuinely interested in getting to know who your wife is.

If you aren’t sure what questions to ask, there are games out there to assist you. Pocket Ungame Couples Version, couples retreat game, and love maps. There is also a “love maps” app you can download for your phone. And think about it this way. Sometimes you need to practice something to get good at it. So just start and grow from there.

This is just a start of somethings you can do. You are strengthening your foundation of friendship. Research (Gottman) shows that the couples that have a strong friendship also have satisfying sex lives. If you think you have a strong friendship already but the sex isn’t up to par and there are no medical reasons for that… I would encourage you to strengthen your friendship.

Now she may be weirded out at first and suspicious of why you are all the sudden asking her questions about herself. Good. Show her you mean business and that you love her enough to know her.

Congratulations on taking the first step towards re-entering the candy shop.

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